Bush Family Maid Named Secretary of Interior

Maggie Turner, the housekeeper and maid of the George Bush family for many years, has been named as the new Secretary of the Interior, replacing former Secretary Gale Norton who, according to White House officials, "just didn't have the kind of credentials the American people demand of an appointee." President Bush justified his appointment in a statement to the White House press corps: "Just like Harriet Miers, I've known Maggie for years, and can tell you that she's a good woman, a good worker, someone who really understands interiors and how to keep them clean, someone who is every bit as qualified as any other nominee that I've elevated to power. This position is not about education, it's not about experience, it's not about track records - it's about loyalty to me, and I can assure you, she's got that."

Talkshow host Rush Limbaugh weighed in today on Bush's nomination, calling it a shrewd and even brilliant political move to throw his opponents off balance. Allegations that Maggie was a Marxist who had campaigned to give American land to Mexico as part of reparations were dismissed as irrelevant. "Americans need to trust the President on this one, " Limbaugh said. "He knows what he's doing. Trust him!"

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