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Location for Iraq's Secret Election Revealed: AUSTRALIA!
Literally dozens of Shiite Iraqis have patiently waited for weeks to learn where they can go to cast ballots for secret candidates in Iraq's secret election. Today the surprise location was announced: Australia. Rather than taking place on Sunday as originally planned, the Iraqi election was actually held on Friday, in another surprise move to thwart opposition. For Iraqis already in Australia, "this is a long dream that now comes true," as Iraqi expatriate Karim Jari of Sydney explained shortly before donning a blindfold and making his selection of numerous unnamed candidates whose numerical codes were printed in invisible ink for added security. "I truly hope that I have voted for somebody who was actually running," said Jari after casting his ballot.
The Australian election lasted only 15 minutes, just enough time for hooded election workers to receive several ballots and then vacate the temporary polling station before it was blown up. though While the winners will begin secretly exercising power right away, the election results will not be announced until stability has been achieved in Iraq, according to the Bush Administration. While this may mean a delay of several weeks or decades, Vice President Cheney declared that "the world can rest assured that this election demonstrates the success of our efforts to bring democracy to Iraq."