Computer Security Solved: Microsoft, Haliburton to Merge with Homeland Security

Bill Gates, George Ashcroft and Dick Cheney  teamed up for a surprise press conference today to announce that Microsoft, Homeland Security, and Haliburton were merging into one new entity, Halisoftland Security, to bring an end to security problems around the globe, especially computer security problems. All US citizens and their computers will now be monitored 24-7 by specially trained security forces comprising Windows tech support personnel, Haliburton executives, and US intelligence officers who will take whatever steps are needed. Bill Gates, the new Security Czar of Halisoftland, explained that computer security problems in the past were not due to software flaws, but defects in human behavior. "It's much easier to monitor and control all humans than it is to continually patch software," Gates explained.

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