Cheney Apologizes to Canada for Accidental Missile Launch

Vice President Dick Cheney apologized to America's northern ally today for the unintentional deployment of a nuclear missile against  Montreal. "It was entirely accidental," Cheney assured nervous Canadian survivors as they huddled in fallout shelters. "I really didn't know Montreal was there when I picked the coordinates and pushed the button." After this second instance of an embarrassing accidental discharge of a weapon, President Bush assured international diplomats that he was going to work with Cheney "to get that trigger finger under control.  Don't you worry."

Canadian leaders, many of whom were vaporized while attending a summit meeting in Montreal, were unavailable for comment.

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