Jayson Blair Replaces George Tenet in CIA

In order to prevent future gaps in intelligence, President George Bush announced today that the new director of the CIA will be Jayson Blair. After apologizing for the flawed intelligence that came from George Tenet's CIA, whose "grossly inaccurate information accidentally caused us to confuse Osama bin Laden for Saddam Hussein," Bush pointed to the high expectations that a "famous and respected journalist like Jayson" will bring to his administration. After listing Blair's numerous credentials, he said:

Unless we get Federal intelligence up to the level of accuracy and reliability we find in the New York Times, we risk bombing the wrong countries in our battle against terror. But with Jayson overseeing intelligence, we'll be aware of what's really going on. And he's already hard at work. Based on the expense reports turned in so far, it looks like he's already been personally gathering intelligence in Iraq, Jordan, Turkey, Mozambique, Argentina and Tahiti - and that's just from his first day on the job! And based on sensitive data obtained from French restaurants right here in the US, he's already uncovered significant evidence to support our next project, Operation Flush France. Come on, France, bring it on!

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