Today President Bush insisted that it's too early for Americans to withdraw from New Orleans. "Like Iraq, we must stay and rebuild until stability is achieved. And to show the world we mean business, we'll make it 50 feet lower than before - that's how deep our commitment is going to be."
Critics have questioned the viability of any plan to become entrenched in New Orleans, calling it a "quagmire" and a "hopeless swamp," claiming that it's a "geological fact" that it is below sea level and doomed to face ongoing insurgent activity from the sea. But President Bush brushed off the critics, and warned that to give in to such pessimism would be to surrender to the forces of nature. "We can beat back the ocean, and thanks to the goodness of the American taxpayer, we'll keep pouring in resources until the job is done."
To date, the White House has refused to confirm or deny rumors that a rebuilt New Orleans will be established as a theocracy under the control of fundamentalists.